Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm Amazed

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I sit here in awe of the human condition, the absolute complexity of every person. The wide range of beauty and vileness that we each carry and can display at any moments notice. The fragile and sensitive side, offset by the unending strength and determination. How the same person can uplift another, or tear them down. The use of words can bring dark clouds or the much needed sunshine to relieve the harsh night. One can fight, one can lay down and forfeit. Exercise freedom of thought, or forgo such freedoms and simply conform to another's views and opinions. One can see beauty in nearly everything or just close their eyes and deny, deny, deny, for it sometimes is easier to see the ugly. You can feel the wind blow through your hair, you can also stay inside. A man can love and be loved, the same man can distort and barricade off his heart, hardening the very thing he's trying to protect. I can be centric, whether it's ethno, cultural or self, it can be all about me, ours and mine, instead of looking to understand how someone else does it, sees it and lives it. Someone said that we're the sum of our experiences, but I think we're better if we can add in others' experiences as well, because when you begin to understand and see through the eyes of another, whether you love or hate them, your vision becomes sharper, your heart becomes bigger and your speech comes slower. The whole world is capable of hope & destruction, breaking hearts, mending hearts, peace & war, tears & laughter. And to me, this is amazing.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Endless Winter

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He reflected on her words. He knew this was a moment he would always remember, a defining opportunity in his life and his desire was to look at it as such. Nothing would ever be the same, or so it felt. He wanted to understand, to relate and sympathize, then accept it for what it was. Who was he to command anything of her? Now, he was no one. Not a person she would be concerned with anymore, anyway. How many nights will he spend awake thinking of her, fighting back tears or being fulfilled by them, wishing they had never met and instantly regretting the thought, refusing to let the pain leave as it is the last connection he has with her? She will not have these nights, she will spend a day in her own reflection then continue to enjoy this hot July summer while he endures an endless winter.

She wished she could have given him more. She sees only great and amazing in him, a beautiful face only surpassed by the warmth in his heart. Even now she detects his insatiable grace, the unwavering gold of his spirit that he shares with even the coldest soul. Her soul. How many nights will she spend awake wishing she had more to offer, the torturous thought of being with him but holding him back from everything he desires and can achieve, being without him and never feeling whole, for she never will, if only a wish could be cashed in for self-worth. If only love were enough, he would say it is, she would say different. She would spend the rest of her life in the heat of his gaze and the magic of his touch, but she only knows how to return to the endless winter.

Monday, September 14, 2009

a love affair (Poem)

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i have a love affair where love is fair,
but the love is rare like hair where you're rubbin nair,
the love i have is something quick but something slow,
you see it fast but speak it slow,
it yells loudly but not like trumpets blow,
the love is twisted, my love is polygamous,
love them all, love them tall and ridiculous,
the love is corny, the love is passionate,
the love is abused and bastardized,
my love is truth, my love is lies,
my love is used to sell alibis,
this love i have is others too,
we spread it around like lovers do,
my love is funny, my love is ironic,
and the same love taken up by the iconic,
my love is special, but not unique,
because it's witnessed when beauty speaks,
my love is safe, my love hurts,
this love is everywhere, this love is Words.