Monday, January 18, 2010

5 Things That Annoy Me In The Restroom

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The bathroom is a rather vulnerable place to be, it's personal and nearly everyone has different habits. These are things that get under my skin.

5. Knocking.
Okay, you already tried the doorknob, it was locked. What, are you going to bash the door down now? STOP KNOCKING!

4. Not responding when I knock.
I have a sibling who's notorious for staying silent no matter how loud you knock or say his name. Is there some kind of concert going on in there that doesn't allow you to hear me? Does it require that much focus? Is it possible you think I don't know you're in there?? Well I do! And I'm telling the person who's on the phone for you exactly where you are and what you're doing!

This is no good, no matter where you are. At home? Sweet, hope you like wet-sock. In public? Even better, now your shirt looks like you didn't even make it to the urinal in time. Are there water fights when I'm not around, or is this done by the same monster who puts weird little crumbs in my silverware drawer?

2. Guy in the stall next to me peeing directly into the water
Glad that you're proud of your marksmanship, but I don't really need to hear all that. Plus you're probably splashing your liquids back onto yourself. But hey, maybe this is secretly Halo training, I just happen to think there's better targets.

1. Not washing your hands


Regina Quentin said...

Wow. Hilarious. Didn't know that so much went into it. People who don't wash their hands after using the restroom should all be rounded up and taken to a remote dirty island where they can live out the rest of their remote dirty days in peace with each other!

Wes Hemings said...

Yes, I agree and they can all "hand" out high-fives and wipe each other's faces off with their soiled fingers.

RoddyG said...

okay the one with your sister - LOL and yes I too am a HARD CORE advocate AGAINST the no hand-washers. Do you carry secret anti-bacterial sweat glands that flush your skin every time you evacuate fluids/solids?! NO!!

I don't get the water thing either - I would blame kinds, but that's unfortunately not always the case. Especially when it happens at your work place.

Another to add would be paper everywhere? Are we disposing the paper towels or playing basketball?? I swear sometimes there are more paper wads around the trash can than actually in it.

Candace said...

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! this was laugh-out-loud funny! I do often wonder how the crumbs get in my silverware drawer. It freaks me out! And i hate to hear people pee, i think there are better targets, too. Oh and when I see people walk out and not wash their hands, I always want to yell "Ma'am, you forgot to wash your hands you nasty, nasty lady!"

Wes Hemings said...

LOL @ "Ma'am, you forgot to wash your hands you nasty, nasty lady!"

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